


Piano Blues

by ak47stylegirl



Series: FabFiveFeb2020 [3]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Caring big brothers, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Mama Tracy mentioned, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ak47stylegirl/pseuds/ak47stylegirl
Summary: Mum used to play the piano...
Series: FabFiveFeb2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631203
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Piano Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts used were 'hard' and 'i'm trying!' This is my Virgil enter for @gumnut FabFiveFeb

_When Alan had first asked him if he could teach him how to play the piano, he had honestly thought the kid was pulling his leg. There was surely no way Alan had actually wanted to learn? Because no offence to Alan, but the kid wasn’t really the musical type…._

_But he guessed he was wrong…Alan had been completely serious about wanting to learn, so of course, he would teach the kid to play,_ he thought with a smile as he sat next to Alan on the little piano bench, watching as Alan’s fingers hesitantly ran across the keys.

_He honestly felt honoured that he could pass on the tradition of the piano to his little brother like his mother did for him. He had no clue why Alan wanted to learn but he didn’t mind not knowing, he was just happy that someone else in his family was taking an interest in something he loved…_

Alan was trying really hard to get the notes right, eyebrows furrowed in concentration but unfortunately for Alan, music didn’t seem to come as easy for him as it did himself…

A high pitch, dying cat-like sound erupted from his piano, making anyone that heard it jump… _or fall out of their chair,_ he thought as he looked at Scott sheepishly, trying not to laugh. Scott had been so deep in the paperwork that the sudden noise had made him jump in fright, nearly jumping clear off his desk chair and onto the hardwood floor below…

Scott looked at them with wide eyes, looking like a startled bird that had its feathers all fluffed up. “A little warning next time please…” Scott said, his hand over his heart as he caught his breath. “I thought someone was dying there for a second…” Scott chuckled as he turned back to his work.

“Sorry, Scotty…” Alan said softly, glaring at the piano keys in frustration. “This is really hard…you make it look so easy Virgil…”

He smiled softly, “That’s just practice kiddo, you just need to keep trying…” he said softly as he moved Alan’s hands back to the start. “You’ll get there, come on, let give this another try, why don’t we?”

Alan sighed with a pout, looking like he wanted to throw in the towel but Alan was a Tracy and they were a stubborn lot. “Okay..” Alan mumbled softly as he started playing again, trying his damn hardest.

_He’ll admit he was pretty proud of the kid for his dedication, learning an instrument wasn’t easy. He remembers when his mother was teaching him to play, he had wanted to give up because it just wasn’t working, he just wasn’t getting it like she did…_

_But his mother was patient with him, encouraging and helping him build his confidence that yes, he could play the piano… He just needed someone to believe in him…_

A loud off-key note and the following cry snapped him out of his memories and back into the present where he had a frustrated, upset little brother “this is hopeless, I’m no good at this!”

He was alarmed to see tears gathering in Alan’s baby blue eyes.

“Hey, that’s not true…You’re trying your hardest and that is awesome…” he said softly as he pulled his little brother against him, all while signalling to Scott, who had shot up like a bullet at Alan’s yell, that he had this under control.

Scott nodded, sitting back down but still on high alert, ready to jump in at a moment’s notice. _Like a Mumma bear wanting to protect her cubs but in Scott’s case he guessed it would be papa bear instead…_

Alan sniffled, rubbing his eye with his fist. “But that’s not good enough, I’m never going to get it…” A tear slipped out, sliding down Alan’s cheek…

He sighed softly, pulling his upset little brother closer, “Don’t say that…of course you will…” he comforted softly as he rubbed Alan’s forearm, “you just need some practice, that’s all…”

“I don’t know Virgie…” Alan sniffled, looking down at the keys with a look he couldn’t quite place, it was a mix between anger, frustration and… _and longing?_ “We have been at this for hours and I can barely get the first verse right..”

More tears gathered in Alan’s eyes, the kid furiously wiping them away before they could fall. _He was honestly getting very concerned now, why was Alan getting so upset over this?_

He looked over at Scott and saw his own concern mirrored back at him. _Something else was going on here and they needed to get to the bottom of it…_

He sighed softly, his hand gently rubbing Alan’s arm, “and that’s perfectly normal kiddo, you’re not going to get it in just one day Allie…” he smiled softly at Alan with a little chuckle, “But you’re right, we have been doing this for a while, i think it’s time we called it a day, don’t you think?”

Alan nodded, his head hanging low “Yeah..”

He sighed, looking at Scott, a silent conversation passing between them. “Come on, Why don’t we go sit down on the couch, and you can tell us what brought on this sudden interest in playing the piano, okay kiddo?” He gently guided Alan up from the piano seat, arm wrapped around Alan’s slender shoulders “Scotty can go get us something nice to drink, can’t you Scott?”

Scott nodded as he stood up from his chair, “Hot chocolate for you, kiddo?” Scott asked softly, his eyes filled with concern and worry.

Alan nodded with a sniffled, “With marshmallows?” Alan mumbled softly, looking down at the floor, his ears slightly red as he rubbed at his eyes, a little muffled sob escaping him.

“Of course, kiddo..” Scott smiled gently at Alan, his eyes filled with tender worry. Scott looked at him. “What about you, Virg? Hot Chocolate or coffee?”

“Surprise me…” he said softly as he gently led Alan over to the sunken lounge. Scott nodded, making his way to the kitchen. “Just not tea!”

Alan leaned into his side with a sniffled, trying in vain to stop the flood of emotions that wanted to pour out of him. _Everything had been turned on its head, why was his little brother so upset? And what did it have to do with playing the piano?_

“Now come on, what brought on this sudden interest in playing the piano, hmmm?” He stroked Alan’s hair gently, Alan’s head resting on his shoulder. “I didn’t realise you were interested in learning it..”

“I just thought I should…know how to play it, that’s all..” Alan muttered softly looking at his shoes, avoiding his eyes. Alan sniffled, “You know… with it being a family tradition and all…”

_Alan wasn’t being completely truthful with him, he could tell,_ he thought as his eyes narrowed. _What was going on? Family tradition? Was this something to do with mum?_

Scott chose that moment to come back with the drinks, balancing them on a tray.

“Who ordered drinks?” Scott smiled as he put the tray down on the coffee table before taking his place on the other side of Alan. “Here you go kiddo, careful it’s hot.,” Scott said as he handed Alan a mug of hot chocolate, little marshmallows floating in it.

Alan took a tiny sip, cradling the mug in his hands, his face slightly red from crying.

“Now what’s going on, sweetheart?” Scott asked softly, running his hand gently through Alan’s soft blond hair. “What’s gotten you so upset?” Scott tilted his head slightly, a tender, gentle look on his face “I didn’t think Virgil was that bad of a teacher?” Scott smiled softly at Alan.

“Hey…” he said halfheartedly, rolling his eyes as he reached for his coffee mug. ”I’m a pretty good teacher, thank you very much…” he grinned at Scott, taking a sip from his mug. _Chocolate mocha? Hmmm not bad…_

Scott smiled teasingly at him before looking down at Alan, his expression getting more serious. “But seriously, what’s wrong Allie?”

“It’s stupid…” Alan mumbled softly, pulling his knees up to his chest. Alan’s eyes were swimming in tears now, a fragile dam trying to hold back a powerful flood. “I shouldn’t even be getting…” Alan bit his lip hard, muffling a sob, “g-getting so worked up over it…”

“If it’s making you upset kiddo, it isn’t stupid..” Scott spoke softly, running his hand through Alan’s hair. “Come on, please tell us what’s going on…”

Alan bit his lip with a whimper, “I..I found a video of…of Mum playing the piano yesterday and…well…I um..” Alan took a shaky breath, tears starting to run down the kid’s cheeks.

_Of course this was all about mum,_ he thought as his heart broke in two for Alan. _How didn’t he see it sooner?_

Scott was rubbing Alan’s arm encouragingly, watching Alan with gentle eyes. “go on kiddo” Scott gently wiped away some of Alan’s tears from the kid’s cheeks.

“And…well I thought…well-” Alan choked on a sob, folding in slightly on himself as everything became too much to handle, “T-that maybe I could…that if I learnt p-piano, May-Maybe I would-“

“…Feel closer to mum…” He spoke softly, finishing Alan’s sentence as everything became clear. _It was so obvious now, why would Alan want to learn piano? To feel closer to mum. It was so obvious…_

“Is that why you wanted to learn the piano?” He asked as he laid his hand gently on Alan’s arm “…To feel closer to mum?”

Alan nodded, “Bu-but I’m horrible at it!” A heartbreaking sob burst out of Alan, the kid scrubbing at his eyes. “And…and it’s not fair! I just want to know her or…or share something special with her, like you have with the piano or Gordon with his swimming!” Alan sobbed loudly.

“Baby…” “Allie…”

Alan was nearly full-body trembling now, “But…but I have nothing! I can’t even…even play a simple song on a piano!” Alan cried loudly, burying his face in his hands as he brought his knees closer to his chest. “I’m hopeless!”

“Oh sweetheart, come here…” Scott pulled Alan onto his lap, his hand cradling the back of Alan’s head as the kid cried, “you’re not hopeless, come on now…shhh, it’s alright, it’s alright…” Scott whispered softly, his shirt getting stained with Alan’s tears. “Oh sweetheart…”

_The pain of losing their mother never went away, only dulling in intensity. But for Alan, who was born on the day that their mother died, that pain was different but equally as painful, maybe more so…_

_Especially around this time of year as March 12 got closer and closer. The day was a bittersweet event, on one hand it was Allie’s birthday and that was cause for celebration but on the other hand…it was also the day their mother died.._

_At least they had the chance to know the wonderful woman that was their mother but Alan? The kid had nothing but stories,_ he thought as he shared a pained look with Scott. _Mum was only alive for a second of Alan’s life, did she even get to see him before she passed?_

_Scott knew the answer to that but honestly? He didn’t want to know. He wants to live in the denial that his little brother and mother got one moment together before life tore them apart…_

“You know, when mum first started teaching me to play, I was horrible at it…” he spoke softly as he rubbed Alan’s back. “And I remember thinking that I would never be as good as her…”

_He also remembers her voice, encouraging him to keep trying, ‘you’ll get there darling, trust me..’ her hands on his little ones, helping him learn and have fun while he was doing it. She was a great teacher.._

Alan lifted his head slightly from Scott’s chest, his eyes bloodshot “You did?” Alan sniffled as Scott stroked his back gently.

He nodded with a small smile. “I was horrible at it and I wanted to give up but mum knew better, she helped me, believed in me and I got better at it but it took time kiddo..” he caressed Alan’s cheek, letting his thumb stroke Alan’s cheek gently, “Just like it’s going to take you time…”

“I…I wish I could have known her..” Alan sniffled as more tears slipped down his cheeks. “It’s not fair…”

Scott’s arms tightened around Alan, a painful expression on his face. _This topic wasn’t easy for Scott, who had been trapped with mum on that day…_

_At only twelve years old, he had to deliver his baby brother and watch his mother die. Scott had needed serious therapy, they all did but Scott was the one that stayed in therapy the longest. He doesn’t blame him…_

_Scott would always blame himself slightly for mum’s death, wishing he could have saved her somehow. No wonder Scott was so protective of Alan…_

“I know it’s not fair…but you know what?” He smiled at Alan, “you don’t have to be good at playing the piano to feel close with mum kiddo, you already share something very special with her…”

“I do?”

He nodded with a little smile, “The thing you share with mum kiddo, isn’t something physical like playing the piano…” he smiled softly at Alan, “it’s something else, it’s something really special…”

Alan was looking pretty confused now.

“It’s your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes light up when you’re happy..” He explained with a smile. “Your determination and love for people around you…that’s all mum kiddo..”

“Virgil’s right, You are so much like her kiddo..” Scott added gently, “we know that will never make up for her not being here but she loved you so much Alan..” Scott’s eyes were getting clouded with emotions. “even before you were half-formed in her belly, she loved you..”

“I remember she used to hum a special little lullaby to you, I could teach you how to play it on the piano if you want kiddo?” He asked softly, “or I could play it for you if you want…”

Alan sniffled, a thoughtful look on his face. “Can you?”

He nodded with a small smile, “Of course I can, you want me to play it for you now?” He asked as he moved to get up, mug in hand.

Alan nodded meekly as he got up, following him to the piano, Scott following close behind. Scott wrapped his arms around Alan’s shoulders, watching him as he played the little song…

Alan’s eyes widened in recognition, “that’s my lullaby, that the song you used to sing to me when I was little..” Alan said looking up at Scott, his eyes wide with childlike innocence.

“That it is…” Scott smiled, placing a kiss on Alan’s forehead. “See? mum has always been here with you in some form Allie..”

A little smile was starting to form on Alan’s face, the kid leaning into Scott’s embrace, listening to the music he was playing. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight.

“Can you…can you teach me how to play that Virgie?” Alan asked once he was finished, looking slightly unsure but willing to give it a try.

“Of course, come here…” He smiled, patting the spot next to him. Alan sat down next to him, “We can play it together, okay?” He laid his hands over Alan’s much smaller hands, guiding the kid though the notes.

Scott watched them with a smile, leaning against the piano as music filled with so much love flooded the room…


End file.
